I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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