hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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