Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
