I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize