Is it normal to miss your booty call?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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