Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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