Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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