After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
