im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
