we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
