I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
