He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
