just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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