yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
