Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
