i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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