i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
