Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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