I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
