operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
