$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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