Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I can't turn off my feet"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Your penis caused this!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
