it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
