I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
