yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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