The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
