Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
