i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
