thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
