I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
