She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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