Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
