You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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