I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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