i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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