I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize