drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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