So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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