I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
