my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
