My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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