Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
