i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
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