This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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