he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
