I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
