Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
