I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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