You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize