Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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