I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
