You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
