Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
