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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good

  Fav 111 30495 1715

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam

  (630): View more from Illinois

  no, it is just poor

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?

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• (239): View more from Florida

  At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.

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• (209): View more from California

  Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.

  Fav 19 6823 1227

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.

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• (424): View more from California

  I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.

  Fav 17 1455 3780

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday

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• (+64): View more from New Zealand

  I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.

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• (315): View more from New York

  I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning

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