I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
