i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
