Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
