exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
