Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
