What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
