Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
