it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
