He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm way too hungover for life right now
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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