Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
