my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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