what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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